Buying or selling real estate can be extremely emotional. You often hear that "you must detach yourself emotionally from your home when selling" or "not to make an emotional purchase". This is very easy to say, and is something we have been hearing for decades, but WHY??
Usually people are making the biggest purchase of their lives when buying a home and are making the biggest sale of their lives when selling, so why can't you be emotional??
- Emotion usually clouds the senses and your judgment.
- Emotion usually helps you make irrational decisions.
- Emotion puts LIFE in our world.
So here's what I think. Without emotion, buyers would just visit listings and would never find that property that makes their heart skip a beat or make them extremely excited. Without emotion sellers would only worry about their bottom dollar and would not care about any other detail regarding their home. TALK ABOUT BORING! We live in a society where hiding your feelings is the norm.
My advice is to keep it real! Be emotional! Your emotions will tell you when you are working with the right Realtor, one that makes you feel comfortable and cares about your needs. Your emotions will let you know when you have found the perfect property. Your emotions will tell you that your Realtor has found the perfect buyer for your home.
Thank you girls for stopping by!
Carole - I think you are right - you need to sit down and establish parameters, then go crazy!
Dena - I didn't say Realtors be emotional - I said buyers and sellers be emotional - I think buyers and sellers need to trust us to do our job - not that we can't encourage them and feel great with them, but it is still our job to be rational.
This could be contradicting...but that's why I find it fun!
"The Lovely Ines"
This is one of those posts where you and I will have to agree to disagree. :)
I am of the opinion that emotions serve no purpose for anyone involved in a Real Estate transaction.
I believe this because emotions have a way of getting in the way and causing problems for everyone inovolved in a Real Estate transaction.
In my opinion Buying and Selling Real Estate needs to remain a business based decision. The more emotions you leave out of it the better your decisions will be. :)
Are you going to 'kick box' me now or later? SVW. SEE :0)
TLW "The Lovely Wife"...Don't Hurt Me. There's An Old Woman Behind My Mouth. SVW. ROAR!
ok my .02 cents. Ines, you hit the nail on the head. Emotions cloud your judgement. But they also make you feel Alive!
Emotion has its place. Like Carole says.. sit down and logically decide what you can afford, what is most important to you or your family and then go nuts. I also agree with TLW, that emotion has no place in a transaction. By that I mean during the deal or negotiations.. play nice now.
But emotion also sells. I dont sell the brick and mortor, I sell the dream. You like fishing? you better believe I will be prancing on your fishing emotions/buttons. "Dude you could fish from your kitchen!!", "I can see you and your son sharing some quality time fishing on this lake, at any time you wish" see it!? buy buy buy!!!
Emotion has no place when it comes to dealing with the parties in the deal. Dont raise your voice or intimidate me. Dont get all riles up over nothing.. this will cloud your judgement and close the communication between everyone and only complicate things. play nice!!
anyhoo.. that's just me. what do I know?
Ines- I agree and disagree with you. There is no room for emotion in selling a home, unless you dont want to sell it. Buying, on the other hand, well this IS one of the largest investments of time and money that most people will ever make. No, emotions should not cloud judgement - but aren't we "trained" to ask, "Can you see yourself in this home?" when we are out showing properties? That is SUCH an emotionally charged question. Emotions usually DO have a say on whether or not someone wants a house.
Well....it seems I have raised the necessary questions here. Who gets to have the emotions, when do you need to keep emotions out, we need to be in tune with ours as well as our customers but there is no way to keep those emotions in a box all locked up is there?
George - a balance sounds good to me, it's good to get excited about a property but also to be logical but we also need to keep in mind, as professionals, that there are some people that hire us just for that, to keep our feet planted on the ground.
Leigh - I love your suggestion "we should buy and sell on occasion so we can get in touch with the reality of the emotions involved and better counsel our clients" that is a superb idea. As Realtors we handle so many transactions and deal with so many types of people that it is good to be on the other side of the coin once in a while to be able to "understand".
TLW - LET'S KICK BOX NOW!!! I really appreciate your comment and we definitely have to agree to disagree. In the case of Bryant and you, you deal mostly with sellers; I can see where emotions would get in the way. A seller being too attached to their property, a seller wanting to give more value to a property because of the intangibles, but I want to assure you that as much as you don't believe emotions have a place in a real estate transaction, you two would not have the successful business you have today without being the emotional people that you are. People hire you for your integrity and for your values, people trust you will place their needs like they were your own - that's as emotional as it gets MGF! I can see you are SVW!! Don't pull out the gun now....no BAM's allowed!
Linda - again it is about balance - an emotional buyer's agent and an emotional buyer may not be the best match, but they will surely have fun! Rick and I have a great strategy - I love working with buyers and get as emotional as they when they see something they like. Good architecture and historic homes get my wheels spinning like crazy, but when it is time to submit an offer, Rick takes over with his logical and calculated ways. Can there be a balance, I believe so!
Nick - you would be an absolute trip to work with - and you MF, summed it up beautifully - EMOTION SELLS! And"Dude you could fish from your kitchen!!" made me crack up and LOL.
ok, just for the record,, and before a kickboxing fight breaks out.. I am much sillier online here than in the field. the 'dude' would be replaced by the person's name. I like using people's names.
oh.. and Ines.. I would like to work with you and the Genius, Sen~or Enrique. :)) BTW, it took me a minute to figure out what MF means.. play nice now, my amigos!
ok, ringy dingy dingy... round 2
Ines when I am representing a buyer I always tell them not to show any emotion while looking at the home if the other agent or the seller is nearby. I have had buyers not heed my warning and leave all their emotions right there for all to see. It cracks me up becasue the other spouse will tell the other to keep their emotions in check.
Sometimes it is tough not to be emotional when purchasing a home, not all people treat the purchase as a business decision most treat it as the biggest investment they will ever make and the stress sometimes really shows.
I have had sellers live in their homes for 40 years and they raised all their kids and grandkids there and the tears really flow at the closing table.
It's just is an emotional decision for most people I guess.
Thanks Jay
Real Estate is an emotional business...can't help but be so. When I'm working with buyers if they can't hear the house sing to them..or feel it talking to them....they won't buy it. They are buying a lifestyle- a dream...emotions play a big role in that. I do counsel them not to show those emotions if the other agent or seller is present like Jay mentioned.
But like Nick M said...I'm also very much a "Dude can't you feel yourself making happy memories here??" type of agent...key in on the emotions...if they feel it ...they simply feel it.
Sorry Mariana- I don't know how you got through. I am glad you agree and disagree with me - it's what keeps me going! We are so trained to ask lots of loaded questions, we are trained to stirr emotions, and at the same time, we seem to believe that emotions are wrong. We need to know how to deal with these emotions when we are helping our customers - don't we also study people? Type A personalities.....how to deal with them. How about how to deal with different generational issues? AHA!! We get so good at reading and dealing with emotions that we should be psychologists!
Nick - don't do that to me dude....I would be so dissapointed if I met you and you were not silly - I'll tell Rick you called him Genius....no...changed my mind.....I won't tell him.
Jay - let me ask you something - haven't you gotten good at reading pocker faces? I have had people walk into my listings with the best rehearsed poker faces ever and I can tell how much they love the house. I can also sit in a listing presentation and within minutes know if we have the listing or not and will signal Rick so he knows what to do next.
BAM...Just kidding. I promise not to bring my Gun Range into your post. Why? You make a very good point. :)
Let me do this:
Emotion=1. A strong surge of feeling marked by an impulse to outward expression. 2. The power of feeling.
Emotional=Easily or excessively affected by emotion.
I guess with me it's the whole "emotional" part of a transaction that I find disconcerting. I've seen deals 'kick' (pun) over the excessive. :)
It is different when your business revolves around Seller's. What the hell do I know about working with Buyer's? My answer to that is NEXT to nothing. This is the woman who says "Good luck with that" to the Buyer's. Yah. I am SVW on that one.
Thank you for all those nice things you said and thank you for not kicking my little a*s. SVW.
P.S. We are hiring a Buyer's Agent. She starts next month. I had better never hear her say "good luck with that". Don't do as I do...Do as I say. If she does not do as I say I will in fact say "NEXT". I have a special laugh on line for that one!
TLW...ROAR! xoxoxo Gimme a kiss babe. Wink! Wink!
Ines, when I lived in Mpls. one of the administration managers of the company I worked for gave me the best compliment I have ever received. My job at the time was North American Parts Manager for a large Farm Equipment Manufacturer. I basically ran the parts warehouse.
We were sitting in a bar in Wisconsin and he turned to me and said "Jay, you have a good feel for people, don't ever lose it". I often think of those words as I have traveled around this great country meeting all kinds of people and those word have really stuck, especially while working in real estate.
Monika and I can sit at a kitchen table and tell within 5 minutes how things are going to work out. We also know how to feed off each other as to who will be good cop bad cop. Our teamwork is flawless and we may not get them all but there aren't many that we lose.
When it comes to emotions, this is why, when there is a second showing on one of our listings, one of us is always there. Monika is much better at closing the emotion of buying.
Thank you Ines,
Jay
TLW - see....I knew this would be fun....I knew we would come to terms....with no kicks and no BAM's! I heard about the buyer's agent...that is awesome news.....good luck with that. She is one lucky woman, getting into the Tutas Empire like that. Here's a couple of kisses for you, not just one!
George - I think you are confusing your emotions with something else there, let's not go into details <wink>
Nick - about the "MF" - I just figured out, with Rick's help, of course, what the other meaning could be and I almost choked
We have been working together for 16 years and we both have been in Real Estate for over 22 years.
Thank you very much.
Jay
Ines....and girls... I agree with Leigh.... you should buy and sell often to keep in touch with your emotions...and when you do, just call on jeffmortgageman...... ;o)
But in regards to this post, even though I am on the financial side of things.... the dark side.... I have seen many of emotions, when the clients receive the keys.... and it's even more emotional when it was a tough mortgage to begin with.... and the clients know it... and are very grateful. I miss that part, because it doesn't seem to happen as much.
Good post with some good thoughts and some great input....
Hey, I got invited to this party late. Thanks, TLW!
Y'all can't have it both ways. Real estate can't be about relationships and without emotion. Aint gonna happen. So, if it aint, then use the emotions to your advantage! Play on them when you can, hide them when you need to, but don't ever reject their value or relevance!
TLW... I don't buy half of what you're saying, by the way. "It is different when your business revolves around Seller's." No it's not. You still need to know what motivates buyers and it sure isn't numbers and emotionless information. You still need to understand what "intangibles" about the house drive the value higher than it's neighboring house. Those intangibles often have emotional triggers. You can't write the way you write and not be tuned into emotions. Sorry, not buying it. :) SVW
"Real-A-Jeff aka Jeff Turner"
Not buying it huh? Okay then. :) Game on. SVW...
My position on emotions is a direct result of seeing emotions throw transactions off the deep end. Like this:
I could go on and on with these. But I think everyone probably catches my 'emotional' drift here. :)
I do understand that emotions serve their purpose in sales. I have been in sales (of all sorts) for the last 30 years. I know that emotions motivate. What I refer to here on this post is that when a person buys or sells a home it is important to watch out for those emotions. If a customer is too emotional the decisions they make will be decisions from the heart not the brain. The brain should be buying or selling the home not the heart.
I do have emotions (of course) I just go out of the way to keep my emotions out of the way in this Profession. Our job as Professionals is to help others keep their emotions in check. The more we are able to help Seller's and Buyer's do that the better their decisions will be.
Of course emotions can be used as leverage to better understand where a Seller or Buyer is coming from. Understanding their emotions is part of what sales people do. It is our job to guide them into a purchase or sale with as little emotion as possible. When you want all parties to a transaction to walk away happy then as sales people we must understand that the best way to do that is to guide them through the emotional side and get their brain to make decisions. I can't even begin to imagine how much happier people would be if they made a purchase or sale without emotions.
I think I just went off the "emotional deep end". SVW. :)
TLW...ROAR!
Emotions...I do tell my buyers not to show them to the other side...
My sellers... I counsel them to move on...They've made a decision to sell, they need to emotionally detach them selves … much easier said then done though!
I’ve had sellers in happy tears at closings and some in sad tears.
it is emotional…all we can do is keep a calm head about us and help our clients deal as best we can. I expect the emotions because I deal in hearts , homes and family values... which is really what makes people buy or sell. I don't sell sticks and bricks...but a lifestyle and that is all wrapped up in feelings.
Jeff B - your sales pitch is funny - you miss so much fun stuff by not being on the sales part of real estate - but I'm sure you get into the heat of it at closing tables.
Jeff Stare - I am so glad TLW gave you a head's up and you showed up....too bad the rest of us were asleep! GO AHEAD AND TELL THEM!! How can we hide the fact that our business is about emotions about manipulating them, about swaying them. What is TLW saying here?
TLW - you are starting to get my point....."emotionalized, hmmmm" I like it! So what you are saying here is that there is a right place and wrong place for emotions. I personally think that a fight in a closing table is a lot more productive than a non-existent party at a closing table. We had a buyer last week not show up after eveything was ready and all of his resources exhausted. There's nothing worse than an apathetic agent.....come on TLW - AM I still stirring the pot?
Hello again Monika, I'm glad you're back..........all we need is Nick now to ring the bell again for the next round
ringy dingy dingy......ROUND 3
ok, ok.. I must admit.. I'm getting a little emotional here.. :)
I think that Monika said 'Dude'. very cool. :^D BTW, its so funny when you call me Nick M.,.. since we are buddies, feel free to call me Nick :))
George, I understand you big brother... I think its innate for men to just stop and marvel at any cat fight >meow!< hee heeee. that one-liner was funny George..:)
Not trying to be politically correct here, but looking over these comments I think that everyone has a point somewhere in there. There are different scenarios, aspects and perspectives in a listing presentation, during a showing and at closing the deal. Some instances where emotion is unwarranted and others when its critical. Also, as TLW pointed out.. one thing are emotions and another is getting emotional. KWIMD? (know what I mean dudes? ©me). But I am enjoying this... it's like a big brained party.. yoo hoooo.
<sidetracked> Jay, your comment about that compliment you receieved years ago... it stuck with you? hhmm. "I remember a dashingly handsome man who said "We have no idea how a simple act, a smile, a touch or a genuine concern or interest can affect a person and their life.".. see? Ines, sorry for the shamless plug... you get 1 credit for a shameless plug on my digital land. no trading them for cigars now!
Ok TLW, ready?... ringy dingy dingy. round 3. oh wait, Ines beat me to it.
TLW.. : ) First, I think your examples are exceptions. I've heard these stories too, but they are not the norm. And I'm not talking about those crazed, lunatic fringe, can't control myself cause I'm a complete basket case, kind of emotions.
You write "I do understand that emotions serve their purpose in sales. I have been in sales (of all sorts) for the last 30 years. I know that emotions motivate. What I refer to here on this post is that when a person buys or sells a home it is important to watch out for those emotions." Can't disagree with that. I'm just going to speak for myself, though I think I'm not out of the ordinary. I've never bought a home I wasn't "in love" with at the time. Rational decision making is not what starts the buying process for me, it's raw emotion. I react to the "feeling" of the home. A home has to feel right or I can't take the next step. That's what I'm talking about understanding and accepting. I see way too much on the Internet that forgets that this "feeling" we have about a house is what motivates us to go to the next step to try to make it our home.
"I can't even begin to imagine how much happier people would be if they made a purchase or sale without emotions." If you're talking about the decisions around financial details, contractual disputes, etc, then I agree. But without the gut level emotions, you'd never get to the place where you have the opportunity to put them aside. I'm lucky to be able to separate the two. I've never given away the farm to feed my emotions. I understand that some folks can't, and perhaps that's what you're referring to.
"Understanding their emotions is part of the sale." YES! And playing to them is part of the sale. And helping your sellers control them when they need to is part of the sale. You can't deny the importance of emotions in the sale! What I hear you saying is that a good real estate agent helps their client control those emotions. But controlling is not denying. To deny them would be a big mistake. I don't believe for one second that you deny them!!!
Your turn... :)
Jeff...and to add about the emotional aspect when buying......that's what makes "blogging" so effective. Consumers are starting to deal with our emotional side, they want to do business with people not businesses. Blogging, like real estate is about emotion.
It's funny that TLW has been the only one to REALLY disagree about the whole emotion thing. Especially being that she is so darn affectionate herself. How about all those straight-jacketted agents out there, anyone think emotions should not play a part in our business?
She's just toying with us. She's LHAO reading these right now!
I'm sure she is....but we are having fun at the same time. I'm one that truly enjoys confrontation....it makes life exiting! I'm actually leaving right now to go on the boat (eventhough it is 50 degrees outside). So feel free to keep the discussion alive without me. I'll check back in this afternoon! HAVE FUN!
MY Turn="Thump"...Oh! Sorry! That was my head. I just banged it against the wall. Ahhh. I feel much better now. SVW.
Okay. It's pretty clear that you guys are all enjoying this. Maybe I should not have said 'Game On'. SVW.
1. These closings I speak of are not exceptions in our market. They are the norm here. Yes. I know that is sad, but it is what it is. We deal with the 'lunatic fringe' pretty much everyday. :) Pink Floyd?
2. Personally I do not buy houses with my raw emotions. It's just not something I do. I own many houses and I could sell them all tomorrow and not think twice about it. Notice how I always refer to houses as houses and never call them homes. :) Home is made by my family not the house my family is in. Maybe I have been in this business too long. SVW. I don't think I have ever been emotionally attached to a house.
3. I deal with people who do in fact give away that farm. Waaaay too many emotions during the entire process. Our farm area is packed with emotional humans. Dealing with it has become a way of life. Our job is so much easier once we explain to our Seller's they must remove the 'guts' or selling their house will be impossible. We recently had a Seller blow his own deal out of the water. How? He allowed his emotions to control his brain. :)
4. <"And playing to them is part of the sale">...I understand that. We focus our Seller's on the future and use their emotions to help them see the bigger picture, such as getting out from under that mortgage they can not afford. :)
Now, let me explain a little about our farm area. We conduct business in a P.U.D. that has a population of 65,00. We have a lot of first time house (SVW) buyers who go the zero % down route on the purchase of their house. They are hard working families who have been misguided on these purchases. By the time we get to them they are pretty damned stressed out. :( I would say that about 75% of our listings (on an average) are families that need to sell their house because they bit off waaaay more than they can chew. We have a lot of Builders in our P.U.D. these Builder's commit loan fraud on a daily basis. It makes for a very emotionally charged market in which to work. Seems like lately every one of our listings is someone who has been screwed by a Builder or a Lender. It will be like this for awhile. I am not looking forward to that. :(
Ines...Of course I understand your point. :) We just approach things differently. I don't want folks fighting at a closing table. That is not the place for a deal to belly up. I also understand that without emotions the deal would not happen. I get it. I just don't like it. Emotions suck sometimes. :) I have seen some pretty crazy things going on at a closing table. Insanity would be understatement with some of what I have seen. SVW. I gotta go. But I will be back.
Bingo...Checking out (good way of putting that) with The Passion. :)
TLW "The Lovely Wife"...I Live With Broker Bryant He Is Emotionally Challenged I Picked Up A Lot Of This Over The Few Decades. :) ROAR!
TLW... I don't BUY homes with raw emotion, but that is how the one I ultimately buy is CHOSEN. Of course I'm looking in an area that I want to live, which has many unemotional aspects to the selection, including schools, taxes, etc, but that specific home is not rationally chosen. I make the purchase decisions, the details, with my head. But the selection is predominantly emotional. I believe the vast majority of the world works this way. Most people don't own "many houses." They own one home. I know within seconds of walking into a house if I can make that my home.
Now, here's the other side of the story. The last home we owned before this one was our "dream home." We loved that house. We bought it because we loved the way it felt. We sold it because it was a good financial decision! Our true "home" is wherever we are with our kids. But that don't change the emotional aspects of how we buy! And you can't sell without dealing with buyers on some level. : )
Yes EMOTIONAL --- absolutely...... for the clients. But I feel that's what our job as an agent is for: a third party, non-emotional objective perspective on homes (like you mentioned on your comment). I remembered when I purchased our 2nd home, I did have butterflies in my tummy too. When I listed my home, oh boy was I emotional. Some seems like personal attacks (so I thought at that time)....So, yes, it's very difficult not to get attached to our house - a place we call HOME that we cherish so much memories. So, time and time again, I remind myself about the emotional ups and downs they go through.
One clear sign from my buyers (some more emotional than others) but I could basically tell when they FOUND their home - they naturally tend to become 3-year olds..... in their own world for a few minutes dreaming of life in the house. That's when I know they got it.... I read alot of body language too. You can tell when they are really up and in for it vs. when they think nothing else seem to fit. It's the joy of seeing 3 yr olds into 30yr olds that make me feel so passionately about this "job".
Toying...Noooo. Would I do that? LOL.
"<TLW... I don't BUY homes with raw emotion, but that is how the one I ultimately buy is CHOSEN>"
Okay. I get it. But, (there's always a but with me when it comes to emotions) I don't do this. Never. Any decision I make on the purchase of a house is made without one single emotion. I make these decisions based on my wallet and I do that on purpose. (Is doing something without an emotion an emotion?) GVW. My emotions never come into play. Not even when it comes to choosing where I live. I choose via the wallet. SVW. If it will make me money in the future I buy it. Here's an emotion for ya. I HATE my house. LOL. (Gotcha on that one) SVW.
"<And you can't sell without dealing with buyers on some level.>"
Oh. Really. Are you sure about that? It's not me dealing with the Buyer. I deal with the emotional Realtor who represents the Buyer. SVW.
I think I am driving Ines "confrontationally crazy". (yes. I know that's not a word. It is now)
GEEZ...This is so much fun. :0)
TLW...Hey. Lunatic Fringe? Pink Floyd? Come On Don't Make Me Google. I Am Trying To Spread My Emotional Love. SVW. ROAR!
TLW... "Oh. Really. Are you sure about that? It's not me dealing with the Buyer. I deal with the emotional Realtor who represents the Buyer. SVW." That's still the buyer! :)
We're actually not on different pages. Denying emotions is a mistake. Guiding them is how you distinguish yourself as a professional!
In my book, you are distinguished!
That was funny. LOL. Get off my comment. SVW.
I know. If I keep the 'emotional' Realtor in check I am indirectly working with the Buyer and keeping the Buyer in check. Damn. You outsmarted me. LOL.
Hubba! Hubba! You have some serious game going on. Wink! Wink!
TLW...ROAR!
Ines - Residential real estate is ALL ABOUT emotions, in my opinion! Most homes for sale are just that - HOMES. And the word home itself evokes many emotions and all that goes along with them - love, warmth, safety, comfort, family, etc. Buyers buy homes, most buyers that is, based on how it FEELS to them. How can they leave emotions out of it when emotions are involved from start to finish?
Buyers who are buying houses, not homes, typically have no emotion involved at all - purely a numbers thing for that type of buyer.
As agents, we keep our emotions out of it, but buyers who are buying their HOMES can't and won't.
Ann
I'm BAaaaack! It seems that you had fun without me.
I am not going to mess with Jeff and TLW because I think you guys have had enough dealing with yourselves....except...."I HATE my house. LOL." Isn't that a STRONG WORD you're using there TLW? <wink, wink>
Loreena - the analoby of a 30 yr. old turning into a 3 year old when they find a house they like is perfect. I love seeing that gleem in their eye , the hop in their step and the excitement in their voice - then I leave all the boring stuff to Rick. :)
Ann - You know I agree with you, and I am glad you agree with me - but those buyers that buy without emotion are so darn boring! I personally leave the investors for Rick - he talks numbers the way they want to hear them and it's absolutely no fun for me.
Rich - "home is where the heart is" so how can we leave emotions out? I do admit I have told customers many times that they are getting too emotional - I also know I've told many customers that if the deal does not go through, it was not meant to be, and the bottom line is that people like to deal with our human side.
"<I think you guys have had enough dealing with yourselves>" That cracked me up. LOL...
"<I HATE my house>"...That cracked me up too. I only did that because he's winning. LOL...
He outsmarted me. LOL...
TLW...ROAR!
No way babe. I can't tell you how I feel on a public post. SVW...I will say HUBBA! HUBBA!
TLW...ROAR!
Geez, what's a girl to do? SVW...
Any way I could get you (Real-A-Jeff) to uncheck your box to this post? LOL. I would like to talk about you behind your back. SVW. :)
TLW...ROAR!
I've been seriously thinking about this (as opposed to jokingly) - now Jeff has got me thinking of my use of words. What if Rick shaves the head and his head is ugly? He would have to wait a couple of weeks for the hair to grow back and he's not a hat type of guy. How often do you shave your head Jeff? before is stubbles. Am I hijacking my own EMOTIONAL POST?
I had an emotion once:)
BTW I love my house!
BB - you had emotions once?? Tell us what happened? I know you LOVE your house. We also know you LOVE what you do. Your writing stirs up controversy, it gets people going and it's because it is full of emotion. We already had TLW for dinner, you're next!
"<Am I hijacking my own EMOTIONAL POST?>" Yup. I think you might be walking the line on that one. SVW.
"<We already had TLW for dinner>" I guess BITE ME would be a good response to that. LOL...
Are you going to delete that? LOL...
TLW...ROAR!
Ok, I believe buying and selling a house is an extremely emotional and stressful time for both buyer and seller. My job as a Realtor is to try and contain these emotions as much as possible, especially when working for the seller. I think on the Buyer side it needs to be an emotional decision to buy and then restrained emotions when negotiating. Emotions in negotiations can cost you some serious money. Personally I am not a very outwardly emotional person. I'm very level. It drives TLW crazy.
Would you like a nice Chianti with that?
Now about this head shaving thing. I have waaaaaaaay too many scars on my head for shaving. I would look like a wrestler. Even though I do dream about Jeff's head quite often:) Very shiny.
"<It drives TLW crazy.>"...Not anymore. <wink wink> I dream about Real-A-Jeff's head too. Very shiny indeed. GVW...TLW...ROAR!
Angela - thanks for coming by - that First Time Buyer Seminar must have been crazy - it's about the use of words, and too bad for you about the financing not being emotional, you're missing out on a lot of fun!
I think we are all in the same page here. As professionals that we are, we need to identify the right time to let those emotions flow and take full advantage of them. I think we have also come to the agreeement, that establishing parameters before buying or selling your home is important, that way the emotions will not get in the way. It's all about the language we use - we cannot ignore emotions and need to work with the right professional who can help us step away, dissengage and negotiate objectively.
I am an instigator, but everyone here came out on top in my book! Thanks for joining in the fun and BB - the Chianti would be quite nice, thank you. So let's all go and dream about Jeff's head tonight.
Man..I can't keep up with you guys!! Jeff is shaving and Ines???? I'll join in but I'm shaving legs not my head!!!
Ines how was the boat??? I thought of you all day....I'm jealous !!!
Moni
"Real-A-Jeff"...Are you going to make a show of yourself shaving your head? Hubba! Hubba! TLW...ROAR!
Ines...Seeing as how this post is on it's way to Cuba, could you please grab me some cigars when you arrive? GVW.
Kiss it goodbye babe. I feel a Hijack coming on. :)
LOL...As soon as we start talking about our 'fruit test' we know we are screwed and the plane has in fact landed in Cuba. SVW...
I don't know about you but I have not finished any of my work today. I may be screwed on that too. :)
Now all I want to do is go to Cuba and have a shot and a good cigar. GVW.
TLW...ROAR!
LOL I have no sensible, non emotional or emotional thing to say to any of the TLW/Mr Stare stuff, they seem to be handling that rather well on their own (with great moderation by Ines i might add lolol)
However, the 'would you like a nice Chianti with that' made me spit my coffee Broker Bryant :=)
btw this post is PAST Cuba and on the way to Argentina
I was excited about Cuba, heard they have some mighty fine beaches...
Apricots in Argentina...Ahhh. Sound good Ladies? Ines...Helloooooo. TLW...ROAR!
Carole...Quit spitting your coffee on your computer. You are going to ruin it.
Does anyone remember what our Hijacking record for one night is? Did we have 2 or 3 going on?
SVW...TLW...ROAR!
I am having a MOJITO as we speak. Jeff - I need to see a video of you shaving your head - pretty please??
The boat was awesome Monika - I will write a post on boating in Miami's winter - got some great pictures. It was a little cold and I had forgotten my mittens (we had 60 degree weather) - but other than that it was superb!
Ines...I am amazed that you sold Rick on that idea. GVW. Does Rick read this stuff like Bryant does?
Uh! Oh! Amazement is an emotion. Hey. Isn't the topic of this post? :)
TLW...ROAR!
So, here you all are, had to actually look for everyone tonight. I have absolutely lost the several threads of this thread.
So I will comment on what I feel like. Mojito's are great! I served them at my big cookout this summer, which of course everyone enjoyed:) But probably do not remember.
I love boats
I like hair!
I don't think its the baldness about Jeff Turner that TLW likes. She just thinks that.:)
Bryant, don't shave, please! And I would prefer a Shiraz if you have onel
Emotions.....I got from your post, Ines that you meant that we, as Realtors, need to be unemotional to help the people through their emotions when buying and selling a house. Is that correct?
Of course people are emotional at both ends. I don't think this is even a point. This is usually one of the biggest investments either way. If they are selling they are leaving neighbors, familiarity, etc. If they are buying, they are investing in a possible lifetime of hopes and dreams. If they are Investors, then no emotions are required.
Shiraz...my wine of choice!
Will we get to see a video of all shaving...LOL
Ines I can't wait to see the photos (boating) and shaving !!!
TLW - Rick only reads a few of the posts - I pretty much keep him informed and e-mail him the ones he will enjoy....so no.....he does not know about my bald fetish (ooops, did I say fetish?) - I did not mean fetish. I'll believe the #1 when I see it - he's worn the same flat top for over 10 years (I would die with the same hair for that long).
Karen - I think you got the jist of it - some heated discussion at times - but all in good fun. Funny about your cookout - I served Mojitos in our Christmas party last year and we had the same results (no one remembers). So next time you prepare a party - don't worry too much about the details, serve Mojitos and everything will be great!
You'll get the photos of boating Monika - not of shaving.
Excuse me Ines...I have to "mouth off" to Karen. :)
"<I don't think its the baldness about Jeff Turner that TLW likes. She just thinks that.:)>"
I bet you think that smiley face is gonna save you...Don't cha? :) You cracked me up with that one.
TLW...ROAR!
Hey guys - here's today's boat trip Winter Boating in Miami
HEY TLW!! Don't change things around - I'm not the one dreaming with bald heads ! OK, I take that back.
TLW,
Ha ha, I posted and went to bed.
:)
Jeff, you were right, we were all asleep, you could have gone wild in here.
Ines...I am smiling very wide. Someone once told me that I am supposed to stay on topic. Yah. I'll get right on that. :)
Karen...I figured you did that. You really are very clever. :)
Real-A-Jeff...What no video? You could have a blast messing up this post last night. :) Personally had I still been awake I would have helped you do it. GVW.
TLW...ROAR!
24 Hours is a very long time in my world. I say we shoot this post right through the AR comment roof. :)
Shall we begin by telling each other New Years Eve Jokes? Or shall we stay on topic?
Hey. Let's play the comment number game. GVW
I am comment #87. Hmmm. I must have some sort of remark for that.
Got it...<Eighty-Seven Billion dollars ... This is what the President asked for on September 7th, 2003>
Do you think he was feeling 'emotional' when he made this request? SVW.
God I love Google. LOL.
TLW...ROAR!
Angela - you HAVE to try a mojito!! mint leaves crushed with sugar, soda and rum - very, VERY tasty!
your emotional perspective from the mortgage side is great "MY PAYMENT IS GOING TO BE WHAT?" cracks me up!
I must laugh to stop my blood pressure from rising.. "WHY DO I HAVE TO PAY FOR THE APPRAISAL?"
count to 10, Nick.. 1. - 2. - 3. - (i think I may have to get my helicopter and rope)... 4. - .....
Angela, and to all the others here... Since this post got hijacked a while ago, and Ines thinks I'm a cool dude, I have another drink for you that I know you have probably never heard of. I doubt its in any recipie book. I picked it up in my travels in Argentina.. specifically in Cordoba. (some of the nicest people on the planet). It's called MELANCIA..
More than a nite-cap drink, its for parties and a commitment to get drunk, unless you share.
Here is your shopping list..
Set the mellon down like you would a pumpkin, with the top having the little thingy where the vine was attached. Cut a hole about 4-5 inches in diameter to remove the top (also like a pumpkin).
By the end of the night, when you finish the mellon, eat the mellon bits that are inside and soaked with wine.. then you can think of me and say.. yooooo hoooooooo.
PS. I like to slightly 'carve' something on the outside of the mellon and 'paint' it with the red wine. Like my name or carve eyes and a nose (without perferating to the inside, obviously) hee heeee. Garanteed topic starter at any social gathering.
PSS. be careful on setting it down. you can use a bowl or a wide soup cup to act as a stand for it in the fridge and when you have it around the party.
aahhh.. those where the days. no more though.. no more for me. I'll have a V8.
Nick - I have NEVER heard of a Melancia - but I will definitely try it. We used to inject watermelons with vodka and know exactly what you mean.
As for the Cordobans being the nicest people, I would like to go into detail. I have never met any Cordobans, though I have met plenty of Argentinians. This statement is a stereotype and should by no means offend anyone. It is a generalization of a group of people and no more than that....exceptions are always allowed with these statements. OK - here I go: Argentinians have a really bad reputation for being obnoxious, pompous, and very conceited. Similar to Parisians in Europe. How do you feel about that statement?
Sadly enough it does hurt my feelings a bit to hear such a statement. :( as I was born there.
Now, objectively ocnsidering that statement, I must admit that its somewhat true.. but here is the deal. The Argentines here (or there) in Miami are mostly like the bottom of the barrel that escaped to live a better life here. The Argentines in South America are not such jerkies... but still, I will admit that its not the home of little egos. (Personally I think that it began with the fact that its made up of immigrants from Europe so they've always had that 'superior' feeling.. like we come from Europe). That being said, within Argentina, there are discriminating viewpoints amongst themselves as the Porten~eos (those from the capital, i.e. the city of Buenos Aires) and then everyone else,. which I could relate them as country. (like country folk vs. NYers). I bet that the people that have crossed your path are from the capital.. almost garanteed. Remember, that Buenos Aires is very comparable to NY.. not as large as NY, but its known as the NY of South America.
I will say, in defense of the good people, that I have met people on the beach in Argentina who would say, take my picture please. I snap the picture and ask where they are from and within 5 minutes they have invited me to their homes and 10 days later I'm in another area of the country staying at their house, they take me on tours and take me in like family. So, sorry to hear that you have met all the jerks. Are they pefect? no. Are there jerks? yes. Are they like the jerks you bump into in Miami... sometimes, but normally no.
but I will tell you this.. the friends I made in Arg are priceless. The relationships that are formed there are so much deeper that anyone that I (as in me, my experience here) can call a 'friend' here. I have seen people with little hope or means to escape a 'bad' economical situation live with such zest and tight family values. So I proudly say that I am from Argentina and I love it there. I love the USA too.. and after the lifestyle offerered is like no other... so here I stay... and claim it and defend it as my own country.
As you stated Ines, there are exceptions to the rule. in this case, a lot of them.
BTW, I've been to Paris (as you can tell from my pic).. and I found them to be the nicest people out of the 14 cities that we visited on our European vacation. Why did you make that statement about Parisians?? Has your experience been otherwise?.. they were the nicest to us, hand down, no exception. I had the same viewpoint as your statement before I went.. but then again, the media here only tells us what they want us to hear to form opinions they want us to have. That is why I dont read the papers here.. I read the ones from South America and England.
BTW, have you ever mingled with the people in Puerto Rico and then with the Puerto Ricans in New York? They are two different people. As the PuertoRicans from SanJuan versus the 'jibaros' from the country in PR.
Oh.. I went through a similar discussion when I moved to Palm Beach.. and how they bad mouth people from Miami. No one wants to use a lender, appraiser or title company from Miami. Now how many good people are there in Miami. plenty. I know, I lived there for 25 years. but it seems that human nature allows us to remember to bad over the good. 1 bad is easier to remember than 20 good acts.. right.
did this get long? sorry. :) and if you ever want to disprove me and go to Argentina, let me know. I will hook you up. Its really a cool place.
YOU ARE SO EMOTIONAL ABOUT THIS TOPIC NICK - Did I achieve my goal? Remember this is the "emotion" post.
Just to expand - it is just a generalization and remember I am also from South America (Venezuela) and there is a big on going joke in all of South America that when you meet a nice Argentine, they are "non practicing" - I have met plenty of great Argentines, including my neighbor across the street and her whole family. I have also met nice Parisians (it's the same in Europe as S. America)...Europeans have an on-going joke about nice Parisians not praciticing their French ways.
I agree about the "capital" thing, especially Europeans and S. Americans, all 'capital born' people think they are superior......but that's just silly talk.
Venezuelans have a bad rap too - it applies to every country.
My cousin went to Bariloche last Summer and loved it - I will have to take him up on that. And what about the awesome steaks?
I agree with you Stefan but I have a question for everyone. Rick and I were discussing this yesterday and want some of you to enlighten us (Monika - you mentioned you do this with your buyers). What is the point of asking buyers to put "poker faces" on? What is the advantage of a buyer today to not show emotion when seeing a home? Is it because you think you'll be able to negotiate better if the buyer doesn't show emotion?
We have seen buyers jump up and down with joy and saying "this is it! this is the one!" and it does not mean they will pay more for the house, it doesn't even mean they'll place an offer for the house. Maybe it's our market, but a buyer showing emotion at a showing means absolutely nothing here in Miami, in this buyers' market.
Ines...Poker face only when the other agent is present...if it is just me and my client then not a problem they can show all the emotion they want.
Generally I advise that only for negotiations because it would put them at a disadvantage if the other side saw just how much they wanted the house.
I've done it myself...play hardball when I've picked up just how much they (The other side) wants it...I've adviesed my seller to drop a little and see how much wiggle room the buyer has because they really love the house...
I also think that in a Buyers market it may not matter as much as in a Sellers market just like you stated.
I have a bit of a contrary viewpoint on this. Done correctly, showing emotion can be an advantage. I use it for personal negotiation all the time, because trying to mask some of your feelings ALWAYS results in masking other unintended feelings as well. It makes me unauthentic.
So, I show how much I want a thing, be it a car, house, whatever... and use my desire for it to highlight the level of my objections. My objections are more real because all of my emotions are real. When I say, "I love this _______, but your price is unreasonable. No matter how much I love it, I can't allow myself to make this purchase at that price." They can see that I mean both sides. If what I'm asking for is reasonable and important, then I'm willing to walk away from the table. If they know I would really like to buy, love it and want it, but I'm walking away ONLY because of that thing, my personal experience has proven they are more likely to ask me to come back to the table.
Again, this is just my own personal experience, but it works for me.
Jeff - that's the way we handle all of our business. We let our customers express emotion infront the other agents as well as owners. Everyone involved will know that the buyers want the property, but doesn't mean they'll pay "anything" for it. Even in a seller's market, if you did not move quickly enough, you would loose the property, there were people placing offers in 3 and 4 properties at the same time hoping they would get one of them.
To add to why showing emotion is a good tool for me. When I'm working with a buyer and they show exitement at a property but not at the other, it's leverage I use to tell them, "but this house did not move you like the other one, I have never seen you get so excited with a property, are you sure you don't want to see the other property again?" - more than once, they see the other property and place an offer.
Bill and Barbara Jo - the discussion here was interesting because we cannot deny the emotional side of real estate. The only ones that don't involve emotions are investors. It's up to us, to be able to focus those emotions and to be able to interpret them correctly.
Diane - absolutely! I totally agree.
Duane - you got it! to avoid emotions and to say there is not room for them is a mistake.
Rick, I hear so many buyers dive into a home simply on emotions only to move into the home and wonder what they were thinking.
The general public rarely invests for their retirement utilizing an emotional approach. They always utilize the investment professional to provide them with due diligence, yet in their largest investment in life, they don't seem to use the tools to make the right choice to meet their or more importantly their families needs.
Duane - but I know you would agree that a transaction without emotion could also be detrimental. I think the best approach is for the customer to let the emotions flow, and hire a professional to keep those emotions in check.
ines
Ines, I agree, Real Estate will always be bought with some emotions. The tough part is when you have a couple purchasing a home that each have different heights of emotions on what meets their personal needs.
Utilizing a professional, and putting those emotions into a buyers home rating system where it combines both parties emotions to show which home best meets a couples needs together eliminates the frustration and streamlines the choice.
You chose a great topic here! BTW, love your city, my wife and I spent our honeymoon there.
Ines, same here until I developed the program. I felt like a marriage counsoler sometimes while touring homes with buyers. Some expected me to make the choice for them which is never a win win for us as agents.
Yeah...I have too much emotional stuff wrapped up in a client sometimes...then again, I sure have made some unreal friends as well as faithful clients and many referrals!
And....I reallllly love my house now that I have a new bathroom/tub/walls/plumbing. WooHoo!